One of the worst things struggling with depression is you constantly self analyse yourself. "Am I actually happy today?" "How long have I been happy for?" "Are you finally over your problems or is it just waiting in the dark corners of your mind to come back and get you." Also, when you're sad, you worry "Am I just sad, or am I depressed?" It's genuinely hard to ever truly know where your mind is at.
The past three days have been really foggy for me. Foggy being the best word. Im neither happy nor sad. Im numb and struggle to focus on absolutely anything, my concentration is shot, my memory has left me. I constantly go to do something and then forget almost instantly what I was meant to be doing. Im not the worst I've ever been, far from it, I can still function, I'm not crying for no reason but I know Im not OK.
I have wonderful beautiful friends and family who are always here to help me when I need and I know this is only an episode that won't define who I am. I just wanted you wonderful people to know whats going on at the moment, why my comic review won't be up this week and why I may not be as 'on it' with social media.
Im doing everything I know helps me at the point and I am thinking positive and wonderful thoughts, but I guess this message is just to vent my thoughts and feelings right now :) and to say, its OK to not have it all sorted and figured out 24/7
BUT - If you are struggling more than I am right now, know there is help, here are some helpful links that may help you get through your foggy days
The CALMzone https://www.thecalmzone.net
NHS Mental Health Helplines : http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/mental-health-helplines.aspx
Lucy writes this blog about all the hobbies and projects she will be running on this and other website!
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